Empty nest syndrome is something a lot of parents experience. When our kids grow up, move out, and start their lives, the change creates echoes throughout the family. Though it’s a big change for these young adults, it can be equally profound for parents. After all, for many of us, being a caregiver is a large part of our identity.
Shop LC reached out for commentary on the topic. Our team sourced some insightful responses from parents who’ve already been there, and mental health professionals who have experience on the subject.
FROM THE PARENTS
START A BUSINESS
The best way I’ve dealt with empty nest blues is to get busy doing something for myself! I started a home business that allowed me to learn new skills, meet new people and build a community! It filled the void a bit and kept my mind off the empty nest and instead, allowed me to grow my mind and skills and to grow something else I could be proud of.
Theda Blackwood, Theorem Haircare
WORLD TRAVEL
As a mum with three boys, the best way for me to handle the loss of them constantly in my life was to sell up and travel the world! Getting away from the ‘normal’ life and setting out in my own adventure made the transition so much easier. I wasn’t stuck in the same life without them – I was in new environments, and luckily in this day and age FaceTime means we are never really far away anyway. In fact being away, with my own stories to tell too, we talk more on FaceTime than we did when they were at home
Shelley, Lifejourney4two
SCUBA DIVING
I started scuba diving!! I now have a blog to encourage other women to take up scuba diving later in life. Learning to dive as an Empty Nester opens up a new world of friends, travel, adventure and keeps me young. I particularly like that I can scuba dive with my adult son – the shared adventure helps strengthen our bond and gives us a common interest.
Tanya, Empty Nest Diver
FOCUS ON YOUR PARTNER
When the children moved out, I finally got the chance to focus on my husband without multi-tasking. When we give each other our full attention now, it’s like we are forever on an exciting first date.
Also, now I have the time to mindfully appreciate basic physical pleasures like spending time in nature, dancing, yoga, gardening, eating more healthfully, and listening to music I love. Plus, I have more time to volunteer in activities that are meaningful to me and also there is time to enjoy being creative, learn new things and be playful. It’s an amazing new stage of life.
Bracha Goetz, Author
EXTRA VACATIONS
What I do to fill my space is going on a lot of vacations. When I sit at home and realize my children are gone I get sad so my solution is to fill my time up with more work and fun things like travel vacations to help my mental state. I go on about three trips a year and stay busy with work because this is what helps my mind the most.
Tim Connon, Founder of ParamountQuote Insurance
BLOGGING
I am an empty-nester mom of two grown boys. At first, it was tough. My coping strategy? I started a blog!
I would encourage anyone who is having difficulty adjusting to the empty nest to rekindle friendships, invest in relationships that may have been neglected for a while. Now that more time is available, volunteering might be an option. Take up a new hobby or take a class to learn a new skill. There are many options.
Lisa Mitchell, FluxingWell
FROM THE EXPERTS
FOCUS ON YOURSELF
Put yourself first and start doing things that literally put a smile on your face. Putting away laundry that has been sitting in the basket for three days, does not count. While it’s nice to get done, it simply is not selfcare.
What I’m talking about are things frivolous in nature – whose sole purpose or value is that it’s fun. It’s not something that needs to be done or something you feel you should do. It’s the things that you desire deep down and that feeds your soul. For you, it may mean reading a romance novel, bing watching your favorite tv show or even taking a nap. Make a list of 20 things that you love and do at least 3 of these every day. From there, fill out the rest of your day with things that make you feel productive or you feel you have to do to keep things running. At least now, your reserves will start to fill back up and you will start to feel a bit better about that empty nest.
Laura Doyle, Relationship Coach
REDEFINE YOURSELF
Redefining your lifestyle can be an important part of having children move out of the home. This may mean engaging with new friends or getting back in touch with old friends. It may also mean trying new hobbies. Considering your interests and looking into local social groups and events is a good place to start.
Kassondra Glenn, Diamond Rehab
CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION
Parents must free themselves from the fear of being alone. A change of perception is key. For example, focusing on how there will be more free time to follow up with past hobbies and passions. Couples should not forget that they are not only parents, but they are also people with dreams and goals. They are also a couple and should foster these two facets that are often forgotten once they are immersed in the whirlwind of raising children.
Ryan C. Warner, 1AND1
FOCUS ON A NEW ROLE
It’s important to focus on other roles besides being a parent. Get involved in your community. Start new hobbies. Social involvement can be extremely helpful for new empty nesters. Find a support group for other people going through the same thing.
Also, it’s important to realize that even though your relationship is changing with your kids, the change is for the better. Your kids are becoming independent. That doesn’t mean that they don’t need your guidance and support. In fact, they may need it more than ever. Your kids may even come to you now more for support and guidance than when they were in high school.
Justin Larkin, The Ohana Addiction Treatment Center
How have you coped with the empty nest blues? Tell us in the comments!